Retainer's Dilemma
by Takumi the Tank Engine
Summary: Hana struggles to find the boundary between liege and best friend. (K for injury description)


Hana swung her sword around with great force, hitting the Faceless hard in the face. It fell with a great roar of defeat, and Hana sheathed her sword, proud of herself as usual. A group of Faceless had tried to rush her and her fair liege, but had also gotten just a bit too close to her lady for her comfort; in the nick of time she managed to protect her best friend.

As she always did after her battles, she scanned the battlefield around her, looking for Lady Sakura with hawk-sharp eyes. These Faceless were actually pretty strong, and anybody in the army would need to pair up with someone for defense. Naturally, Hana's first choice was her best friend and princess.

The landscape continuously shifted under their feet. The dark mage they were battling was manipulating it, which disoriented Hana; most of Hoshido was flat, and the hills around her were disorienting. The strange landscape combined with the fact that she couldn't see Sakura made her stomach drop. "Sakura!" she called out.

She heard no response for a second, and called again, dashing a bit further to the left.

Then she heard it: that bells-ringing sound of a festal activating, somewhere over a growing hill next to her. She dashed over it and gave a great yelp when she spied Sakura. She was at the bottom of a small, muddy gorge, about two swordlengths wide and four deep. She did not look comfortable.

"Lady Sakura!" Hana cried, immediately jumping down to her liege's side. "Are you hurt?"

Sakura nodded. Tears were already beginning to roll down her cheeks, landing on her now-mudstained priestess outfit. Hana felt sheer panic flare up inside her. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you better!"

"It's okay, Hana," Sakura replied faintly. "I just wasn't p-paying attention…"

"I should have been paying attention if you weren't! I'm a-" Hana cut herself off from insulting herself, knowing it wasn't the time, and sighed. "I need to get you out of here! Where does it hurt?"

Sakura rubbed her face in her sleeve. "I tripped on the way down here. It's not that bad, just please be gentle…"

Hana didn't need to be told; she picked up Sakura as gingerly as she would a national treasure. Sakura winced, but didn't say a word. Hana mumbled another apology and lifted her out of the gorge, then climbed out herself.

One of the hills behind her crumbled, its rocky shards flying all over the place and scarcely missing them. With a muttered reassurance, Hana lifted her liege once again and dashed off. She hoped her panic wasn't showing too much. She was pretty sure her arms were shaking, but she hoped Sakura couldn't feel it; Such nerves weren't very samurai-like.

She could just imagine what Subaki would say about professionalism if he found out. Retainers weren't supposed to panic when their lieges were hurt.

After a few minutes of her dashing, the landscape seemed, if not familiar, unaffected by the mage's tricks. "Hana, you look really tense. Please calm down."

Of course Sakura noticed. Even when she was down and out, she was thinking of others. "Will you be able to use the Dragon Vein when we find it?" Hana asked, voice more breathless than she'd have liked.

"Y-Yes… though I'm losing a lot of blood now…"

"Gah!" Hana realized for the first time that, under the mud on Sakura's new dress, there was splotch of red here and there. The largest of them was on her stomach. "Why didn't you tell me before? Are you gonna pass out? Don't you have a bandage?"

"Hana, I'll be fine for a little while longer. J-Just until we get back to camp..." Her voice was wavering; if Hana was unused to it, she would have had to strain herself to hear.

Hana ripped part of her uniform off without hesitation and lowered Sakura to the ground. "How do you apply this thing?"

"Just wrap it around the wound like it's a sash," Sakura managed to say.

She tried to do so, but the thing wasn't big enough to go the entire diameter of Sakura's waist. Hana tossed the pink fabric to the side and unwrapped her headband from under her hair.

Luckily, that was probably long enough to wrap around her waist three times, so she finally got it in place, wrapping as tightly as humanly possible. Sakura nodded encouragingly. "Thanks... I sense the vein nearby."

"You're welcome Sakura. I just hope it's enough..." She hoisted Sakura back up carefully and kept up her wild run.

XXXX

"You know, Hana, helicoptering around your liege isn't going to aid in her recovery."

Hana glowered in Azama's direction. "You making me angry isn't going to help in your recovery when I hit you," she retorted.

They were in Lady Sakura's private quarters. Paintings of various scenes in Hoshidan history, as well as commissioned portraits of her family, hung on the higher parts of the pale pink walls. Sakura's queen-sized bed was the most ornate part of the whole room - sophisticated, but simple. Hana was more familiar with the room than most.

Azama looked smug. "Feisty one, aren't you? I don't believe it's Sakura's time to die yet, but… I could be wrong. Even a princess's life is insignificant to the gods!" He laughed out loud.

Hana grabbed at the strange puffy ball-things on his monk's uniform, pulling him close and glaring. "If she doesn't make it through this I'll make sure you don't live to see the next a"

"Azama, you did your best," Sakura murmured, catching Hana's attention. She didn't yet remove her hands from him, wanting to make sure her threat stuck. "You're f-free to look after someone else now…"

"No can do, milady," Azama replied lightly. "I'm here on direct orders from Lady Hinoka! She's quite worried you'll die, you know."

Sakura shook her head. "I'm feeling fine now, really," she said, though she looked quite faint. She pulled a slight smile. "I'd rather just talk Hana through how to do it at this point."

Inwardly, Hana blanched. She couldn't accept that responsibility, however much she didn't like Azama. She was too nervous in the heat of the battle earlier to even properly carry her to safety. "Hohoho! Well, I haven't got a reason to deny your orders, milady. Except for Lady Hinoka's wrath, but that would happen anyway, so that's not so important! Just - best of luck getting this one to do anything right."

With that, Hana dropped the puffs on his uniform and he walked away chuckling, probably to ruin someone else's good time. When she was sure he was out of earshot, Hana wrung out her arms. "Why did you do that? With all due respect, Lady Sakura, you probably should've kept him in. I'm not much of a healer," she blurted out.

To her surprise, Sakura smiled. "I know. But I figured you've taught me so much about swords, but I'm not a fighter, am I?"

"That's different! I don't know how to use a rod." She glanced at the festal Azama had left on one of the infirmary tables, and gave a great shiver. "And he said you were at risk of dying.'

Sakura giggled softly. "These injuries aren't that severe. Hinoka wanted him to make sure, is all. He was just messing with you."

Hana cleared her throat, thinking she probably should have realized that. "Duly noted, Lady Sakura."

"Don't call me a "lady," please," her liege replied, suddenly frowning. "I really like it if you'd speak with me like you did before… before you became my retainer."

Hesitant, Hana took another step closer. "Alright Sakura. But… Are you sure you're going to be okay?"

"When you wrapped your headband around my wound so tightly, the wound couldn't bleed as much." Sakura reached over to the bedside table, where it was resting, and grabbed it. It was stained in one part. "I-I'm so sorry it's stained."

"It's okay." Hana was careful to keep her voice gentle; already Sakura sounded a bit nervous. "It was my choice."

Sakura's eyes fixed on her suddenly. "Hana, I've never seen you without it on before. Didn't you explain once that it used to belong to your father?"

"Yeah, it did. My mother made it for him. But you don't understand, Sakura. I'd give anything to keep you safe. If I didn't I'd be dishonoring his memory."

"You never told me your mother made it for you." Sakura stroked one part of it between two fingers. "It's so soft; she did a good job."

Hana's expression softened. "She did."

"O-Oh! I don't mean to bring up painful memories; I'm so sorry…"

"Oh no, Sakura, Mother isn't dead, just not nearby. And I don't resent my dad for dying for his liege; I hope I die for you one day." Sakura looked panicked for a second, and Hana hastily amended, "Rather, I'd rather die protecting you than just, you know… uh, dying not protecting you." It'd be the greatest honor as a samurai, after all.

"I hope you don't die that way," Sakura replied, voice cracking. "Don't you ever wish you could v-visit your mother?"

Without a second thought, Hana shook her head. "No. You're everything I need, and you're right here."

Sakura was silent for a moment, seeing the gravity of her retainer's words. "You honestly need to help me, b-because I'm losing a lot of blood."

Hana jumped. "What?! Okay, we need bandages, right? Right! Where are they?" Hana cast a fevered glance around the room before spotting a neat roll of bandages sitting on a distant counter. She hurried over to get them, and fumbled to find the end of them. "Alright, how much do I need?"

"Y-you need… um, the special tape to attach it…"

"It's right here," Hana said. "If it's white."

"Good; now to get it cleaned up, the kit's over here; we was about to do that-"

"Maybe I should just get the frog back here." Hana's hands were shaking more than she cared to admit; her nerves were great, and she didn't want to make things worse with Sakura's injuries. Which were still Hana's own fault, she reminded herself. "He knows this stuff, Lady Saku-"

"I order-"

"Yeah, I- oh? Go ahead."

Sakura timidly lowered her gaze. "You go ahead."

Hana cleared her throat and quipped, "Don't worry, Lady Sakura; you'll be better in no time at all with that monk's help." Hana bowed hastily, then dashed out before her liege could object.

XXXX

Chunks of cotton flew out from the practice dummy as Hana swung a heavy silver katana at it. The cloth dummy, at that point, had slashes all over it, and that was with Hana being careful with it, mostly alternating between parries and thrusts to get used to the extra weight on her arm.

It wouldn't be quite enough to make up for her failure the last battle, but maybe she could prevent future injuries to her beloved liege.

She heard the sound of footsteps and looked up, eager to see whether she had a sparring partner. She immediately lowered her heavy katana, letting the tip rest in the dirt, when she realized that it was Sakura there. "Lady Sakura, you're alive! Are you okay?" Her eyes fell to the sword in Sakura's hands. Something nameless churned uncomfortably in Hana's stomach at the sight of her liege with such a weapon.

Sakura was frowning. "I-I'm fine. Azama was right when he said that it wasn't my time to die yet."

"I'm truly sorry about the battle earlier. I should have never let you out of my sight… Are you sure you aren't in pain? Should I go find you something to eat?"

"No, Hana... I want you to spar with me."

Hana blinked, taking a second to comprehend what her liege had said. "Wha?!"

Sakura took a few steps closer, so they were only a few swordlengths apart, and pulled the bronze-plated sword out of its sheath. Seeing her liege with a sword in her hand, no staff or bow in sight, was plain wrong, as if she was never meant to see it. "You've sparred with almost everyone else. I want you to see how strong I've become." Determination came over Sakura's face as she adamantly added, "I won''t take 'no' for an answer!"

"Lady Sakura, you're recovering…" Hana knew it was in vain, though; once Sakura got that resolute expression, there was no changing her mind. "Okay, fine; let me get a better sword."

Hana returned with the very softest, weakest thing that could possibly qualify for a sword: a pink parasol with small parts torn out. Somebody must have left it in the convoy while they were on duty, and though Hana doubted anyone cared for an ugly pink umbrella, she wouldn't feel bad for sparring with it if the owner came and yelled at her for having it. It was their fault for leaving the precious thing in the first place.

Sakura sighed with disappointment at the sight of it, but didn't comment as Hana said, "You can come at me whenever you're ready."

Almost instantly, Sakura swung the sword with an exclamation of "kee-ya!" Hana made a small sound of surprise as she let the hit occur unresisted, twisting her arm uncomfortably. Hana lightly attacked the blade part of the sword, careful to put very little substance behind the blow. Sakura parried her with several miniscule shots from the blade - the hits lacked the passion and strength of a real samurai's, but Hana nonetheless complimented her: "Nice hits, Lady Sakura!"

The round lasted for only about twenty seconds before Sakura hit the side of Hana's face with the blunt part of the blade. She promptly dropped her sword, a tiny tears beading her eyes. "Oh, I'm so sorry! I-I didn't mean to hurt you!"

Hana ran her hand along where she'd been hit. "It's okay, Sakura - it doesn't hurt. But even if it did, it's nothing I can't handle."

"I-I'm so bad at this… I'm still so sorry. I could have taken your eye out by mistake." Sakura averted her gaze.

"You're not that bad - you just need to put more power into your blows and control the sword better." That wasn't true at all; Sakura lacked anything resembling real technique and swung without resolve. Still, Hana smiled encouragingly. "If you want, you can go find something to eat instead of sparring with me," she suggested, secretly hoping that was what Sakura decided to do. She could not handle sparring with someone so delicate, whom she was supposed to protect.

Hana was mildly surprised when Sakura shook her head. "No, Hana. I want to try again. And I want you to stop holding back."

Never, not in a million years, would that be okay conduct for a retainer. But neither would not following her order to spar.

She sighed and put the torn-up parasol over her shoulder. "I mean, I'll spar with you again, if you really want to, but I have to hold back or I'll be failing as a retainer." 'Is it so wrong that I'm thinking of you as my best friend?'

Sakura readied the blade in her arms in response, brown eyes steely and determined. Then she all but ran at Hana, blade against parasol. Sakura was all-in on her strength, Hana noticed, with the strength of both of her arms pushing down on her parasol. Hana actually had to grip the parasol's handle in both of her arms to pull it out of the way and turn the tables.

Even then, the match lasted for only about ten seconds before Sakura backed up, looking rather distressed. "Why won't you fight me?"

Hana felt like giving her a hug, but held herself back - such conduct was not appropriate for a royal retainer. If Subaki ever found out, she'd get quite the talking-to, and that'd be annoying. "I seriously don't feel right raising a sword against you, Lady Sakura. It's my fault, not yours."

Sakura opened her mouth to speak, then closed it again and sighed. "I still want to spar with you, but if it hurts you that much, um… I won't put you through that again."

She lifted her hand to place on her shoulder, but faltered, letting it fall back at her side. That was best friend's conduct. She settled for a curt nod - very professional. "If it's an order, I'll do it."

"No, that's okay. I'll just… rest now."

Hana sheathed the parasol in one of the containers on her belt, unable to help the sorry note in her voice as she responded, "Excellent idea, milady. I'll check up on you later, if you want. I've just gotta do more training."

Sakura nodded, looking horribly exhausted. "Please do."

XXXX

A number of hours later, after a brief reprieve for a dinner of noodles and daikon, Hana was back to swinging her silver katana around. The sun was setting somewhere off in the distance, yet even the growing darkness was not to deter Hana. The sword felt moderately more natural to her at that point, even without much practical experience - nobody had challenged her to a spar since earlier in the day.

Presently, she was holding her katana above her head in one arm. Hana found that the strongest blows came with great control and a lot of force, coming from above. Even with an immobile enemy, it was important to drive the blade, which was simply impossible if you couldn't hold it above your head for a good several minutes at a time. The name of the game was control.

By that point, however, her mouth was growing too dry to ignore as she wished, as her breaths came more ragged and labored. It was important to control those drives for water, Hana thought, because in the thick of battle, thirst could kill you. But each drive seemed harder, the katana growing heavy, and her grasp loosening with sweat.

After managing almost a dozen more, she clasped the katana and gasped for breath, letting the tip fall into the dirt. Her head pounded from the exertion. She knew that feeling: the sensation was reaching her limit. Yet the only way to push yourself was to go beyond them, so pretty soon she lifted it back over her head, aiming for a full minute.

She heard the sound of footsteps before a familiar voice sounded. "Hana?"

Hana turned around to see Sakura, dropping her blade's tip into the ground respectfully. "Lady Sakura? Aren't you supposed to be resting?" She looked pointedly at the spot where she'd been injured, a space doubtless still covered with bandages.

"I couldn't sleep. I was going to go talk to Corrin, but I saw you training out here, and you looked pretty thirsty, so," Sakura reached down and picked up a large glass of water, and presented it to Hana, "I went and got you some water."

Hana spluttered. "W-What? That's great, but I'm trying to train-"

"I promise drinking water will help... Unless you're not drinking as much as you need to take care of yourself." Sakura's eyes met hers so intensely that it was obvious that she knew about 'thirst-training.' Of course, her liege saw it as poor self care instead of an exercise to become stronger.

Hana smoldered under her liege's gaze, and accepted the water from her. "Thank you."

Sakura nodded, her expression not changing in intensity. "Thank you, Hana."

She drained all of the cup's contents without lowering the glass from her face. She was uncomfortably aware of the concerned look on Sakura's face. As she finished, she said, "I'm gonna take this back to the mess hall. You should probably get to bed, milady, it's getting late."

The princess shook her head, "No, I'll take the glass back myself. You've been working so hard that it's the least I could do."

Hana frowned. "But Lady Sakura, it's no trouble. A woman of your position shouldn't have to clean dirty glasses." She almost added that she'd do it whether she was a princess or not.

Sakura sighed. "And so can I. Please let me do this... You look exhausted."

"I'll resume my training until the moon is high in the sky," Hana responded.

A knowing (if not bemused) smile appeared on Sakura's face. "You're the most dedicated to your training of everyone, but resting is important, too."

"I will," Hana responded, automatic. "Just a few more minutes, okay?"

"Well… I don't want to see that katana in your hand when I get back, okay?"

Hana agreed to the terms with reluctance.

Sakura smiled, then took the glass form Hana and went off to the mess hall.

As she watched her liege walk into the dusk, Hana couldn't help but feel she'd failed Sakura. She NEVER saw Ryoma, Takumi, or Hinoka doing anything like this for their retainers.

...Alright, Hinoka did. But the very idea of Ryoma washing a cup was laughable.

After what felt like only a few moments in reflection, Sakura exited the mess hall and approached. "Are you ready?"

Swallowing thickly, the retainer only managed a nod. She slipped the katana in its sheath at her side before falling into step at Sakura's right.

XXXX

The next day, Hana found herself on accessory shop duty. The place was well-stocked with all manner of garments behind the counter, so being the shopkeeper was actually quite claustrophobic, so only dedicated fashionistas eyed for shifts, while others fled to the mess hall or arena.

Hana was somewhere in between on the "accessory shop" scale. There weren't any swords to train with, but there wasn't a bad smell, and besides, she liked all of the pretty and cute things on sale there. Trying to keep her eyes away from the cute beret that hung on one of the top shelves at the accessory shop, she turned around when the door opened. "Welcome, welcome- Lady Sakura?"

Sakura gave her a timid smile as she walked up, holding something long, wrapped with pink parchment behind her back. "How are you?"

"I'm doing well," Hana replied, figuring it not best to bring up her deep desire for the beret. "How about you, my liege?"

"Likewise. I've been busy finding and wrapping a gift." She revealed the present. It was obvious to any soldier that the object was just a katana with some parchment wrapped around it. Upon closer inspection, the parchment covering it had some cherry blossoms inked on.

' _I wonder who she's buying a katana for,_ ' Hana wondered, her smile faltering just slightly. ' _That's expensive parchment it's wrapped in.'_ "That's great, Sakura. Whoever you bought it for should be most grateful."

"Well, you see…" Sakura's smile was just a bit too warm for that discussion. "It's for you."

Hana started. "Lady Sakura, that's - thank you. I… wasn't expecting this. Could I…" Sakura nodded, averting her gaze. Hana was careful not to shred the parchment to shreds as she normally might. As she suspected, a shining katana was in the slightly-torn parchment, with a durable pink handle. The surface was flawless, and the katana was possibly the best non-legendary blade she'd ever seen.

No doubt, it had cost her liege more than a year's salary. Usually, her gaze was glued to Sakura when she was around, but then she found it impossible to move it from the blade. "I can't take this."

Sakura frowned. "W-Why not?"

"Lady Sakura, this blade is beautiful, and so thoughtful, but it's so expensive. I...I appreciate it, but I simply can't take it. Just think: you're a princess. You can't be spending this much gold on me - a commoner."

"I don't care about your social rank! You're my friend, and I just wanted to get you a gift." Sakura looked away, fidgeting, before continuing in a quieter voice. "It feels so strange to do normal friend things with you now. A-And I wish you could speak as you really are."

Hana swallowed, the words much sharper than the gifted katana. "Sakura, I- I have no idea what to say." The name without the honorific felt weird to say, after saying it so many times with it since the war had begun. "I've gotta admit, I feel the same way. But I still can't accept this beautiful present."

"But why not? Surely you can use it in battle."

"W-well…" Hana wasn't sure what she could say without the dispute of her liege - her friend.

Sakura put her hands on the counter, an unexpected, but subtle show of insistence. "I, um, intended this as a symbol of our friendship as a whole. I-It could last anything, don't you agree?" Sakura actually cracked a small smile. "And I'm a princess. I should be able to buy a gift for anyone I want."

"B-but couldn't it have been cheaper? This is just so expensive."

"I would never be cheap on a gift for my friends! You all do so much for me, it's the least I can do."

Sakura's intent gaze sent a chill through Hana's spine, keeping her from a reply and causing her to avert her gaze. After a moment, she laughed shortly. "I can't argue with that logic," Hana replied, a small smile finding itself on her face again. "But that just means I'll have to train even harder and do a better job as your retainer and your friend."

Sakura nodded. "I'll, um, try to be a bit more professional."

"No worries - I've felt weird about not doing friend stuff with you either." Hana glanced back at her new katana quickly before looking back to her liege. Now then, umm… For our quality time… Are you thinking later, do you want to pull me out of work?"

"Wouldn't you get in trouble for missing your shift?"

"At lunch hour? I doubt anyone will have a sudden desire to buy a wizard hat or a Faceless mask if I decide to take some time off. You're my liege, I'd do anything to make you happy."

Sakura giggled softly. "Well… are you certain? Because I think I'd like to go on a walk with you.".

Hana resisted the excited sound that threatened to leave her mouth. With a glance over Sakura's relaxed facial features, she let down the well and let out a short giggle of her own. "I'd like that, too, Lady Sakura."

XXXX

"Sakura, watch me climb up this tree." Before waiting for a response, Hana dashed up to the grand sakura tree, throwing herself up its rough trunk and swinging up to the branches.

As she got to one of the higher branches, Sakura caught up with her, a small smile on her face. "Hana, be careful, or you might fall out like you used to."

Hana spluttered in surprise, her cheeks feeling slightly warm. "T-That was a long time ago!"

Sakura giggled. "I'm sorry," she said sweetly, though she didn't sound very apologetic. Hana dropped her own indignified embarrassment pretty quickly, looking at her liege through the cherry blossom's radiant flowers.

Indeed, she'd used to climb cherry trees all the time, and almost without fail she'd suffer some injury for it. Whether it was being scratched up by the sharp branches, landing uncomfortably, or even falling, it'd happened most the time. Everything seemed more pleasant framed with some sakura trees.

"Everything's so pretty from up here!" Hana noted from her position, glancing at the lottery shop framed with the colors of her favorite tree before glancing back at her favorite liege. "Oh, I guess you can't get up here with that injury. Tell you what, I'll jump down and give you a lift-"

To answer her question, Sakura gripped one of the thick lower branches and pulled herself up skittishly, her actions strong but unassured. She managed to get to a thick branch close to Hana, and looked out at the shop Hana referenced. "It is pretty..."

"You're sure you won't hurt yourself being up here, right?"

"I am a healer. I can tell these things," Sakura replied, maybe a hint of teasing in her voice.

Hana inhaled deeply, the branch beneath her shaking. "Wow, it even smells nicer up here, doesn't it Sakura?"

Sakura shakily nodded, "Now, can we get down, please?"

Hana gave a confident grin, "C'mon. Doncha trust me?"

Sakura shook her head meekly. Hana opened her mouth to counter, but in a second she crashed to the grassy ground below the tree with an exclamation. With a strangled gasp, Sakura was by her side in a second.

It look Hana a second to recognize the bloom festal in her hand, the gears slowly beginning to turn in Hana's mind, "Wait, you brought that thing?"

Sakura's concerned frown turned into a small smile as she finished. "I kept it with me when we used to go out because you'd almost always have a new cut or scrape to heal."

"Wait, you thought I'd hurt myself again?" Hana sat up abruptly, eyes narrowed, and Sakura released the laugh she'd been holding.

Something about Sakura's soft, slightly mischievous laugh let Hana relax, an easy grin coming across her face. It wasn't _just_ a sound coming from her liege - every little bit of it was pure emotion. That thought in mind, she couldn't help laughing along with her.

They laughed together for several beats before they got to their feet. the pain returning to Hana's arm, though not as much as before. "I guess we should get back, huh?"

Sakura brushed the front of her dress clean of dirt as she nodded. The two headed back slowly to the castle, side by side.

"Y'know, I don't think I could have a better friend than you, Sakura," Hana blurted out.

The two glanced at each other with surprise at the outburst, but it took only a second before Sakura donned a smile of her own. "And you're the best friend I could ever have, Hana. Thank you so very much for… for being my retainer and best friend."


End file.
